where to begin...
The crudeness of the visual/audio media certainly detracts from whatever story you are trying to get across ("fatty's esophagus"?) and kind of hurts the story.
I also have a problem with your literary "referencing" in that it's not placed within the sphere of the plot, but is more like a game of guess-the-book.
I do not dislike the avant garde, but there is a fine line seperating breaking the bonds of the medium you are expressing yourself through (see Escher, Cummings) and throwing together an altogether unintelligible movie (see David Lynch).
And your writing does come off as pretentious.